STUDENTS: [INDISTINCT CHATTER]
SPINNER: COME ON, DEGRASSI,
AND DUNK THE DORK!
LINUS: HEY...
WANNA TRY YOUR LUCK?
IT'S ONLY A BUCK A BALL.
YOU'RE TELLING ME I GET TO THROW BALLS AT HIM
FOR CHARITY?
YEAH.
COME ON, WHY NOT?
OKAY. I'LL TRY MY LUCK.
HERE'S FIVE.
THANK YOU.
YEP.
SPINNER: SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT, JIMMY!
YES! FIRST TIME TODAY!
WON'T BE THE LAST.
WELL, THAT WAS FUN.
I'M IN A CHARITABLE MOOD, SO HOW ABOUT TEN MORE?
I THINK SPINNER NEEDS A BREAK.
I THINK GAVIN IS FINE.
OKAY. I'M JUST WARMING UP.
NO, JIM, LOOK. HE'S FREEZING.
I KNOW YOU HATE THE GUY, OKAY?
BUT TODAY, JUST CUT HIM SOME SLACK.
FINE. WHATEVER.
THANKS, MAN, EH?
YOU SAVED MY BUTT.
LATER, SPINNER.
♪ Whatever it takes
♪ I know I can make it through
♪ If I hold out
♪ I know I can make it through
♪ Be the best
♪ Be the best I can
♪ And I say to you
♪ Whatever it takes
♪ I know I can make it
♪ I know I can make it through
SPINNER: GIRLS, COULD I INTEREST YOU
IN THIS INTERESTING PAMPHLET ABOUT JESUS?
PAIGE: UM...SPINNER?
MAY I SUGGEST METHADONE
TO UH... KICK THE CHRISTIAN HABIT?
IT'S NOT A HABIT, PAIGE.
THIS IS FOR LIFE AND BEYOND.
DANNY: WITHOUT YOUR SHOES AND YOU'RE YOUR PURSE?
I'D SAY... MMMMM....
140?
MAYBE IF I WAS CARRYING AN ENTIRE 8-YEAR-OLD!
THE SIGN SAYS "GUESS".
I GUESSED.
DEREK, YOUR FRIEND'S AN IDIOT.
I'M AWARE.
SO, HOW MINUSCULE ARE YOU?
DON'T ASK.
HEY!
THESE ARE FOR MOM.
DARN YOU
AND YOUR WHOLE "MAKE SPIKE FEEL BETTER" CAMPAIGN.
TODAY, I NEED ALL THE HELP I CAN GET.
IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HER THIRD WEDDING ANNIVERSARY.
BUT I'VE GOT A SURPRISE LATER
THAT'S REALLY GONNA MAKE HER HAPPY.
MALE STRIPPERS...
DROPPING IT LIKE IT'S HOT?
OH YEAH, OH YEAH.
OKAY, I THINK REMOVING YOU FROM PUBLIC
IS A GOOD IDEA FOR US ALL.
MARCO: SAFER SEX SEMINAR.
SAFER SEX.
OH, HEY, TOBY. SAFER SEX SEMINAR.
CHECK IT OUT.
WE'RE GIVING OUT FREE CONDOMS.
OOH, I'M IN. EXACTLY.
SAFER SEX!
ELLIE: OKAY, I CANNOT BELIEVE
FRIENDSHIP CLUB BRAINWASHED SPINNER.
JIMMY: THERE'S NOT MUCH BRAIN TO WASH-
MARCO: GUYS, THEY DON'T BRAINWASH.
THEY'RE TOO BUSY SINGING AND PRAYING AND STUFF.
ELLIE: TOM-AY-TO, TOM-AH-TO.
RELIGION IS SO BORING AND LAME.
HELLO? CATHOLIC OVER HERE.
UM... MARCO? YOU'RE GAY.
AND THEREFORE I CAN'T BE CHRISTIAN?
ALL I'M SAYING IS,
THE CHURCH?
NOT TOO BIG ON THE GAYS.
WELL, THINGS ARE GOING TO CHANGE.
IT JUST- IT TAKE TIME.
WHATEVSKIS.
KIM: WE JUST MADE $860.00,
AND IT'S ALL THANKS TO YOU, SPIN.
THIS IS GONNA PUT FOOD IN A LOT OF HUNGRY MOUTHS.
YOU SO ROCK.
"LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE BEFORE MEN;
THAT THEY MAY SEE YOUR GOOD DEEDS."
MATTHEW 5:16.
I'M PROUD OF YOU, SPIN.
ALL I HAD TO DO WAS GET WET.
THAT'S A REALLY SMALL PRICE TO PAY
TO HELP STARVING KIDS.
STILL...
YOU DID A GREAT THING FOR CHARITY,
AND YOU MADE FRIENDSHIP CLUB LOOK GOOD.
YOU'RE THE MAN.
HEY... CALL YOU LATER?
ALL RIGHT.
[MUFFLED MUSIC PLAYING]
SPINNER: HEY...
HOPE YOU DON'T MIND ME ASKING,
BUT UM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING SITTING HERE
LIKE LITTLE BOY BLUE?
I MEAN WHERE'RE ALL YOUR PEOPLE?
WELL...
JIMMY AND ELLIE ARE DOING THIS ART THING LIKE 24/7.
PAIGE AND ALEX...
PAIGE AND ALEX HAVE MORPHED INTO PALEX.
AND CRAIG'S IN VANCOUVER PURSUING FAME AND FORTUNE.
AND I'M HERE, PURSUING BOREDOM.
SUCKS, MAN.
UM LISTEN...
IF YOU WANT TO,
WE COULD POSSIBLY, MAYBE... HANG OUT?
OR NOT.
YOU KNOW, WHATEVER.
HEY!
YOU STILL LIKE STUPID MOVIES?
DUDE, THE STUPIDER THE BETTER.
EMMA: COME ON, MOM. A LITTLE LESS VACUUM,
A LITTLE MORE HAPPY!
BROWNIES, THEY'RE HAPPY-MAKING.
NOT THAT I DON'T APPRECIATE THE EFFORT,
BUT I'M FINE, REALLY.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
EMMA: YOU WANT EFFORT? GO OPEN THE DOOR.
SURPRISE!
CAITLIN!
ALL THE WAY FROM L.A., DARLING.
YOU LITTLE SNEAK!
YOU DIDN'T TELL ME SHE WAS COMING!
WELL, WHERE'S THE SURPRISE IN THAT?
MARCO: I CAN'T BELIEVE
WE JUST PAID MONEY TO SEE THAT MOVIE.
WHAT?
CLOWN ACADEMY II ROCKED, MAN.
I MEAN, YOU GOT...
SEXY CLOWNS, CAR CHASES,
EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA.
WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT IN A MOVIE?
WELL, IT'S GOOD TO SEE
YOUR TASTE IN MOVIES HASN'T CHANGED.
WELL, IT'S GOOD TO SEE
YOUR TASTE IN FASHION HASN'T CHANGED.
DOES THE GAY SUPERHERO KNOW YOU TOOK HIS BELT?
MARCO: MAN,
YOU HAVE NOT CHANGED AT ALL.
EXCEPT FOR THE HAIR.
AND UH... THANK GOD FOR THAT.
FUNNY.
SO... SPINNER,
OKAY, I HAVE TO ASK YOU SOMETHING.
FRIENDSHIP CLUB.
NOW WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH THAT?
ALL RIGHT.
BEGINNING OF THE YEAR,
MY OLD FRIENDS DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW MY NAME.
BUT FRIENDSHIP CLUB WELCOMED ME WITH OPEN ARMS.
THEY... THEY'RE LIKE A FAMILY.
IT MUST'VE SUCKED FOR YOU.
THE WHOLE GANG JUST SHUNNING YOU ALL YEAR.
IT'S WATER OVER THE BRIDGE, MAN.
BESIDES, I'M NOT COMPLAINING,
AS LONG AS YOU AND I ARE COOL.
RIGHT.
WE'RE COOL.
THANKS FOR THE VISIT.
IT HELPS.
SO HOW ARE YOU? FOR REAL?
WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU AND SNAKE?
WELL, I'M NOT GONNA WAIT AROUND
WHILE HE CONTEMPLATES HIS NAVEL,
TRYING TO FIGURE OUT THE MEANING OF LIFE.
HERE'S TO MOVING ON.
TO MOVING ON.
AND TO THE BEST NON-ANNIVERSARY PARTY EVER.
MY BEST FRIEND, MY GIRLS,
BROWNIES, WINE.
WHAT MORE COULD I ASK FOR?
A BUFF GUY IN A G-STRING
DROPPING IT LIKE IT'S HOT, HUH?
SIMPSON: HELLO!
ANYBODY HOME?
CAITLIN, HEY!
NICE OF L.A. TO SEND US UP SOME SUNSHINE!
HI ARCHIE.
YOU CAN'T JUST BARGE IN HERE ANYTIME.
I'M SORRY.
IT'S JUST UM...
I ORDERED THIS FOR YOU MONTHS AGO
FOR OUR...
YOU KNOW.
I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE IT.
I'LL JUST... I'LL LEAVE THIS HERE.
SPIKE: SAPPHIRE.
MY BIRTHSTONE.
IT'S PERFECT.
IT'S ABSOLUTELY PERFECT.
PERFECT.
LINUS: HEY, I WANT TO THANK YOU ALL
FOR COMING IN SO EARLY THIS MORNING,
BUT UM...
WE HAVE A SERIOUS ISSUE AT HAND.
I'M DISGUSTED...
THAT THE SCHOOL WOULD LET MARCO DEL ROSSI RUN THIS.
DARCY: BUT THE SCHOOL PROMOTES SAFER SEX.
PLEASE.
EVERYONE KNOWS SAFER SEX
IS JUST CODE FOR PROMISCUOUS SEX.
LINUS: "JUST SAY YES TO SAFER SEX."
WHAT IS THIS?
THERE'S NO MENTION OF ABSTINENCE AT ALL.
SPINNER: YEAH, BUT ISN'T THERE,
LIKE, FREEDOM OF SPEECH OR WHATEVER?
YOU'RE RIGHT, THERE IS.
HE'S FREE TO TALK ABOUT IMMORAL SEX
AND WE'RE FREE TO TRY TO STOP HIM.
OKAY, LOOK, MARCO... HE'S A FRIEND OF MINE.
AND THAT'S WHY WE'VE NOMINATED YOU
TO TALK HIM INTO CALLING THIS OFF.
WHO'S WE?
DARCY: I DIDN'T VOTE FOR THIS.
I THOUGHT THIS CLUB WAS ABOUT TOLERANCE AND RESPECT.
OH, WHAT ABOUT LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOUR AS YOURSELF?
LINUS: WE BELIEVE THAT.
BUT WE ALSO BELIEVE IN ABSTINENCE,
AND CONDOMS MAKE KIDS HAVE SEX.
DARCY...
THIS SEMINAR GOES AGAINST OUR VALUES.
OKAY? WE HAVE TO STOP IT,
AND SPINNER'S OUR MAN.
SPINNER: DON'T BE SO SURE.
MARCO WILL FREAK.
LOOK, ARE YOU WITH US OR NOT?
MORNING,
FELLOW MEMBERS OF THE WORST CHEER-UP SQUAD EVER.
EMMA: WHERE'S OUR VICTIM?
SHE WENT TO THE SALON EARLY.
PROBABLY TO SWALLOW DYE.
BUT I'M BRAINSTORMING
ON HOW TO GIVE THE CHEER-UP SQUAD
A MAJOR COMEBACK.
[WHISPERING] MALE STRIPPER.
CAITLIN: SO FAR, I'VE GOT UH...
GIRL MOVIE MARATHON,
CRAFT NIGHT,
FACE PAINTING AND COTTON CANDY.
YEAH, I KNOW, I GOT NOTHIN'.
I'VE GOT AN IDEA!
HOW ABOUT WE GET A MALE STRIPPER?
WOULD YOU SHUT UP ALREADY?!
THERE'S NO WAY SHE COULD KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE THROUGH THAT.
THAT'S A GREAT IDEA!
GREAT IDEA?
CAITLIN: GET ME THE YELLOW PAGES AND THE PHONE.
WE ARE HAVING A PARTY!
WOO!
CAITLIN: OH, YES!
SPINNER: UH, I-I NEED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING.
DO YOU HAVE A SEC?
NAH, SPIN. NOW'S NOT A GOOD TIME.
OKAY, BUT JUST THIS SEMINAR,
YOU THINK MAYBE IT'S A BIT MUCH?
WHAT EXACTLY IS A BIT MUCH?
MAN, YOU GUYS ARE GIVING OUT CONDOMS.
YEAH. WE'RE PROMOTING SAFER SEX.
DON'T DO IT.
EXCUSE ME?
JUST CANCEL THE SEMINAR, OKAY?
WHAT?!
SPIN, GIVE ME...
GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON WHY?
CONDOMS MAKE KIDS HAVE SEX, MAN.
OH... WHOA...
WOW, THAT'S RETARDED.
WHERE DID YOU GET THAT FROM, HUH?
SOME STUPID PAMPHLET?
HEY, I DIDN'T WANNA GET NASTY,
BUT WHAT YOU'RE DOING IS IMMORAL, MARCO.
WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO SAY THAT, SPIN?
DUDE, IT'S IN THE BIBLE.
THIS IS WRONG, OKAY?
THIS IS SIN.
WOW. JIMMY WAS SO RIGHT.
I SHOULD'VE NEVER GIVEN YOU SECOND CHANCE.
HATZILAKOS: RIGHT.
I APPROVED THE EVENT. SO WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
THEY'RE GIVING OUT CONDOMS, MS. H.
IT'S GOING TO MAKE KIDS RUN OUT AND HAVE SEX.
GIVING OUT CONDOMS DOES NOT MAKE KIDS HAVE SEX.
YOU TWO ARE AWARE THAT SOME TEENAGERS HAVE SEX.
LINUS: AND SOME DON'T.
WE BELIEVE IN ABSTINENCE.
HATZILAKOS: WELL, NOT EVERY TEENAGER DOES.
WE HAD A GONORRHEA OUTBREAK IN THE SCHOOL LAST YEAR
SO IF GIVING OUT CONDOMS HELPS AVOID IT,
THEN I'M ALL FOR IT.
MS. HATZILAKOS,
PLEASE, CANCEL THIS THING.
IT'S-IT'S WRONG.
I'M AFRAID WE DON'T SEE EYE TO EYE
AND I'M NOT CANCELLING IT.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GOOD CHRISTIAN.
YOU'RE ON VERY THIN ICE RIGHT NOW, GAVIN.
DON'T MAKE ME REGRET
LETTING YOU BACK INTO THIS SCHOOL.
HEY, EVERYBODY.
JUST WANTED TO REMIND YOU THAT THE SAFER SEX SEMINAR
WILL BE HELD TODAY AFTER SCHOOL IN THE GYM.
SO IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS....
SPINNER: I TRIED TO STOP HIM.
I REALLY DID.
SO MUCH FOR HELPING YOU.
SPINNER, THIS ISN'T ABOUT HELPING ME.
OKAY? IT'S ABOUT RIGHT AND WRONG.
WHAT DO YOU THINK MS. HATZILAKOS WOULD DO
IF WE WENT ON THERE
AND TOLD EVERYONE WHAT WE BELIEVED?
MS. ANTI-CHRISTIAN.
IT'S LIKE WE'RE THE BAD GUYS.
'CAUSE THE SYSTEM IS AGAINST US.
WELL, I'M SICK OF IT.
THAT'S THE SPIRIT, BRO.
WE GOTTA TAKE THIS SCHOOL BACK,
MAKE IT SAFE FOR THE NORMAL PEOPLE.
"NO SEX IS SAFE SEX?"
YEAH. WE'RE FIGHTING BACK, ME AND LINUS.
IT'S A BIT EXTREME, DON'T YOU THINK?
SO YOU WANT MARCO GIVING OUT CONDOMS?
NO, NOT REALLY,
BUT HE HAS THE RIGHT TO.
YEAH, THAT'S WHAT MS. HATZILAKOS SAID.
SO...
SO I DON'T ANSWER TO HER, 'KAY?
I ANSWER TO SOMEONE A LOT HIGHER.
WHO? LINUS?
HAVE YOU EVER LISTENED TO LINUS?
I MEAN REALLY LISTENED TO HIM?
HE'S GOT A LOT OF VIEWS-
YOU KNOW, MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST STAY OUT OF THIS,
OKAY?
FINE.
WHOA!
SEMINAR'S STARTING.
YOU READY?
SPINNER: YEAH, I'M READY.
BOY: CHOOSE ABSTINENCE!
GIRL: ABSTINENCE IS THE ANSWER!
SPINNER: ABSTINENCE EQUALS SAFE SEX!
NO! SHHHH!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ARE YOU OUT OF YOU MIND?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, WITH SIGNS?
WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO PROTEST.
LIKE YOU HAVE THE FAINTEST IDEA WHAT YOU'RE PROTESTING.
WE'RE JUST TRYING TO EDUCATE PEOPLE.
YOU'RE PROMOTING PROMISCUITY.
YOU'RE PROMOTING STUPIDITY.
ELLIE: YOU THINK IT'S BETTER THAT PEOPLE HAVE UNWANTED BABIES?
I THINK IT'S BETTER PEOPLE DON'T HAVE SEX
UNLESS THEY'RE MARRIED.
STOP! LOOK, JUST LEAVE US ALONE.
GO HOME, GO TO CHURCH, DO WHATEVER.
WHY DON'T YOU TRY GOING TO CHURCH?
I DO, EVERY SUNDAY.
AND THEY LET YOU IN?
WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
LINUS: I THINK YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IT MEANS.
THE BIBLE IS CLEAR ABOUT SEXUAL DEVIANCY.
WHAT?! WHO IS THIS BIGOTED FREAK?
LINUS: SO I'M A FREAK.
IT'S BETTER THAN BEING A HOMO.
SPINNER: WHOA, WHOA...
GUYS, TAKE IT EASY.
NO SPINNER, SHUT UP!
YOU AND YOUR FRIEND, JUST GO TO HELL.
SO WE CAN VISIT YOU, FAG?
TIM: COME ON, STOP! STOP!
DON'T LET THEM CORRUPT YOU, SPINNER.
IT'S WHAT THEY DO.
LINUS, IF I WERE YOU,
I WOULD START WALKING, NOW.
LIZ: FINALLY, WE GET TO FIND OUT WHAT'S FOR DINNER?
WHAT'S THE SURPRISE?
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
SPIKE: WITH CAITLIN IN CHARGE, WHO KNOWS?
IT'LL BE ELEGANT AT ANY RATE.
CAITLIN: DINNER IS SERVED!
[CHEERING]
SPIKE: THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS!
MANNY: TRY THE DYNAMITE ROLLS.
EMMA: I HEAR THEY'RE DYNAMITE!
CAITLIN: I HOPE EVERYONE'S HUNGRY
BECAUSE DESSERT IS THEIR SPECIALTY!
WOMAN: TAKE IT OFF!
[CHEERING]
SORRY,
DO YOU NOT LIKE CHOCOLATE?
SPIKE: NO, I LOVE CHOCOLATE.
YOU JUST LOOK LIKE SOMEBODY.
MY HUSBAND.
THERE, IT'S ON THE HOUSE,
FOR STILL HAVING ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME.
I'M GETTING USED TO FORGIVING YOU.
IF ONLY MY BEST FRIEND COULD SEE IT LIKE THAT.
YOU SHOULD GO OVER THERE.
IT'S LIKE WALKING INTO THE LION'S DEN.
DARCY: COME ON, SPIN.
WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO LOSE?
SPINNER: UH, MARCO...
I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW,
I AM NEVER TALKING TO LINUS AGAIN, OKAY?
EITHER HE'S OUT OF THE FRIENDSHIP CLUB
OR I AM.
MARCO: SPIN, YOU DO WHATEVER YOU WANT,
CAUSE REALLY,
I COULDN'T CARE LESS ABOUT YOU AND YOUR STUPID CLUB.
I'M NOT LIKE HIM, OKAY?
SPINNER, THIS IS NOT THE TIME.
SPINNER: NO, IT'S NEVER GOING TO BE THE TIME!
YOU GOT THAT RIGHT.
JIMMY, SHUT UP!
MARCO, I AM NOT HOMOPHOBIC.
YOU KNOW THAT, OKAY?
ALL I EVER WANTED TO DO WAS BE YOUR FRIEND AGAIN.
I SCREWED IT UP, OKAY?
AND I AM REALLY, REALLY SORRY.
I FEEL TERRIBLE.
IN THIS CASE, TERRIBLE IS GOOD.
I MEAN, YOU SAID YOU AND SNAKE ARE OVER.
YOU NEED TO START DEALING WITH THAT.
I CAN'T.
YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE, HON.
YOU SAID THE RELATIONSHIP IS OVER.
NOT FOR ME.
CAITLIN...
I'M STILL IN LOVE WITH HIM.
[CRYING]
SPINNER...
YOU REALLY ARE LOST, AREN'T YOU?